That feeling of surrender.  Dropping back a gear.  Letting go of the need for more and appreciating what is.

The weekend just been felt like a gentle yet needed slap in the face.

Some of you have been following along with My Story for quite some time.  You’ve read about how I used to be a workaholic and not at all comfortable with space.  Space meaning time to just be.  To not be busy and not constantly be doing things.

You’d also be aware that over my 10 plus years of running my own businesses I have created an array of products and services.  I’ve been forever trying to create clarity around what my soul purpose really is.  

Since moving back to the farm a year ago, things have changed a lot.  I have changed a lot, but not so much as a person. I am still your classic gemini, full of ideas and lover of words. It’s more so how I’ve connected with myself and the way that I operate.  

I absolutely love living back in the country.  There’s no doubt about it, my soul thrives here.

I have created this amazing lifestyle.  I have spent 12 years doing courses, learning from multiple Coaches, done the inner work, continuously showed up, faced my fears and put things into practice. I have achieved my goal of creating a business that allows me to work from anywhere.

Yet even after all of this, I found myself saying to my Business Coach on Friday, ‘I feel defeated. You know how there’s a difference between feeling tired and drained… well, I just feel absolutely drained. I feel like I’m getting no where.’

Reading that paragraph back, I’m like ‘what the actual f#ck?!’  I just launched an Online Yoga Studio this month. Have I already forgotten that I did that?  Is that not getting somewhere?  What about the fact that over the years I’ve created 3 different businesses (one that I sold 5 years ago).  What about the fact that I’ve coached numerous business owners this year and helped them get incredible results with their businesses?!  Ok, so I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

After a bit of exploring with my Coach, we discovered that it’s not so much that I’m not getting any where. It’s more so that I feel like I’m building 20 or so bridges to get to a destination, instead of building 2 or 3 solid bridges, that are more direct to the destination.

I feel like I’ve been forever fine tuning my offerings and trying to find that one thing that really sets my soul on fire; whilst realising there’s a part of me that will never be satisfied with just one thing.  There needs to be a few things that all blend together nicely.

In my grumpy, defeated mood on Friday, a part of me felt like I’d been wasting my time over the last few years creating offerings that I didn’t continue on with.  

My Coach pulled me up in my tracks and asked me, ‘Steph, what do you want to be known for?’  Straight away I knew the answer.  I didn’t even need to think about it.  

I said I want to be known for empowering people.  Inspiring them to fully be themselves; embrace their quirks and all the magical things that make them who they are. I want to empower people to step up and have a crack at living their dream life, and if that means running their own business, then heck yes I will help them see how capable they are.  I want to speak at schools and tell students my story so they can see what’s possible; I want my yoga classes to help people connect with themselves and find that peace within their body, mind and soul. I want to run goddess events where women are seen, heard and accepted just as they are and that empowers them to show up more fully as themselves.

I could have gone on and on… it’s all there.  I know what I’m here to do. It’s to empower people, but for some reason I haven’t been going all in… that reason I soon figured out.

My Coach then went on to say, how about you go all in with the personal empowerment message that is so on your heart to share.  How about you see all the different bridges that you’ve built over the years as bridges that were necessary for you to get to this point; instead of thinking they have been wasting your time?

In that moment, it was like all of the puzzle pieces come together.  These different bridges I’ve built over the years have certainly contributed to me being in this current position.  They have all helped me get super clear on what I’m passionate about and they have contributed to my story that I will be telling at schools one day.

It’s very cool to think that all my offerings do link back to personal empowerment. Yoga, Business Coaching, Heath Coaching, Online Group Coaching Programs, Goddess Events, my social media content… they all play a part with empowering people.

The other thing that’s really stood out, is that I don’t need to make life difficult.  I don’t need to constantly put myself under pressure!  In fact business can be EASY.  Yep, you read that correctly.  It doesn’t have to be hard… especially when you’ve done as much ground work as I have.

I have a super aligned and straight forward business plan moving forward.  It’s meant stripping back my business and now staying true to all things personal empowerment moving forward.

To be honest, this plan is so easy and straight forward that I feel slightly uncomfortable, because I think my body is quite addicted to the stress hormones of hustling and putting myself under pressure.  It’s nearly like I feel a bit naked with out the pressure of juggling multiple different things.

I’ve actually come full circle with a business plan that I created with a friend at the end of last year.  It was so aligned with my message and so straight forward.  YET, I remember sitting with it and got so damn uncomfortable that I started distracting myself with other projects. I ended up making myself busy again, all whilst renovating farm houses and moving house… in fact not long after I got shingles. 

My body has been screaming at me to slow down over the past few years.  Glandular fever & shingles were pretty good indications, yet I’ve still be creating that feeling of pressure.  I think that’s part of my coffee addiction to. I get so damn high and buzz like you wouldn’t believe when I drink coffee.  It creates that feeling of go, go, go and get shit done kind of mentality.  Not healthy.

A part of me also wonders if I have a slight fear of success, because my story has always been ‘I know I’m going to be successful’ and ‘I know I’m going to be more than ok' but it’s always been in future tense.  Like it’s always just out of reach.

My business plan last year was so easy and straight forward, yet I didn’t fully embrace it… was it due to fear of success?  That, I will continue to explore as I move forward.

So… on the weekend I DECIDED that from here on in, I am successful and business is easy.  It doesn’t have to be hard.  Sure there will be periods where I’ll be more under the pump than others, but I’m going to allow myself to sit with the discomfort of not being under the pump, and keep working away at my current business plan (which is so damn beautiful).  

I decided that I will stop lifting the bar and expecting more and more and more, because with that mindset I will never be satisfied.  No matter what success I have, I’ll be forever wanting more.

Through me sharing this with you, I guess I’m hoping that maybe you can learn something from this too.  Perhaps you’ve become accustomed to putting yourself under pressure too?  Or perhaps you’re building a million different bridges to get to your desired destination instead of pausing and being ok with building 1 or 2 solid bridges, before moving onto the next one. Or maybe you keep expecting more and more and are forgetting to appreciate how far you’ve come and what you already have?

What if you DECIDED that you are no longer available for stress and high expectations?  What if you decide to focus on the magic that you already have, instead of focusing on where you wish you were in life?

I feel like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders and like the road ahead is no longer foggy.  It’s sunny, warm and inviting.  I’m also remembering that life isn’t just about the destination; it’s about enjoying the journey… and no parts of the journey are a waste of time.

I’m currently working on a special something that I will be launching in Spring.  An online program to help you IGNITE as you step into spring.  I will share more with you soon.

In the mean time, I hope this finds you well and I would love to hear if any of what I shared resonated with you.

Love,

Steph x